LGBT affirmation is the first, but most important, step to take

There is a lot of work to do after churches become LBGT-inclusive, but the initial step of affirmation can itself be life-changing.

I’m a queer Christian and queer pastor engaged in queer theology, advocating for queer liberation, and I know many queer Christians and their allies. Despite all of this, when I enter a new church or even see assembled Christians, I find myself assuming that the space they have created is not safe for me. There’s nothing outlandish about that assumption, given that it describes most churches around the world. 

Christians need to make it clear and unequivocal that they are affirming of LGBT people. Too often, pastors and churches state their position in vague or equivocal terms. That can be painful and even harmful to the queer people they might like to have as members. Some churches are vague simply because they are trying to hide their bigotry. In progressive cities like Philadelphia where a lot of churches are trying to attract “post-Evangelical” individuals, it’s pragmatic to hide a non-affirming stance.

Although some people may not care much about being “welcoming and inclusive” to the LGBT community, the “bait and switch” tactic of some parishes will cause pain for people who don’t know if they can be themselves or not at church. Some queer people are very cautious already about sharing themselves. It’s not a given that the queer people in your church are even being open about their gender or sexuality. 

Thus, in a sea of churches that are not affirming or are vague about being not affirming, finding one that is can be like finding a treasure. It is incredibly meaningful when churches, who have so often been a source of hatred and exclusion for queer people, become bastions of support and safety instead. Affirmation is merely the first step, but it is powerful.

At one point in my life, I was not affirming and supported an ambiguous policy statement on LGBT affirmation. I am ashamed at my complicity which both harmed others and myself. There is no defending my own action, and I am disturbed when pastors continue to defend themselves and their cowardly position. 

But, I did end up helping that church become affirming. It is can be a grueling and painful process.  am fortunate to be pastoring a church now that is openly affirming and feel touched every time it’s made clear to me. Even a simple “Children’s Time” that one of our members organized recently on the meaning of pride flags, brought me to tears. Teaching our kids that God loves everyone, no matter whom they love is simple, yet sadly, still against the grain in many houses of worship. I want to say that if your church is spreading the Gospel inclusively, bravo! Lord hear our praise.

The sad fact is that the more religious a queer person is, the higher their risk of suicide is.

“Lesbians and gays who reported that religion was important to them were 38 percent more likely to have had recent suicidal thoughts. For lesbians, religion was associated with a 52 percent increased likelihood of suicidal thinking."

It’s chilling to think that churches are not always safe places, and can actually be associated with lethal consequences. Affirming churches can be healing spaces, and I want to honor the congregations and their pastors in this group. Both my faith and my vocation have been called into question because I am queer and because I affirm queer people. Many pastors like me are often accused of sowing seeds of division–which is heartbreaking. Those who stay the course do a service to their entire congregation–and their courage is truly appreciated by the most vulnerable.

It’s important to note that those queer people who keep the faith inspire us all. I can understand those who have turned their back on religion, due to its oppressive policies. But those of you who have held on to your faith are a tremendous witness to the Gospel. You deserve to feel the love that you know God offers you from the church. I hope we can keep doing our part to make our communities welcoming and loving.

This is pride month, and to courageous churches with their rainbow of congregants, I say: you should be proud, indeed.