Five ways to live in a world that is on edge

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had interactions with people that are far more intense than what I’m used to. The whole country seems uneasy. I offer five solutions.

Photo by Francis Odeyemi on Unsplash

Up until this last month, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve been accosted in public. But over the course of the last month, it happened to me three times.

During one instance, I was offering a lecture on Christian Zionism to a largely secular audience. I was explaining the theory that the restoration of Israel would hasten the return of Christ. Our small group was gathered outside, reading Bible passages together. Then a former IOF member started yelling at us, aggressively asking questions and making accusations. She wasn’t listening, just expressing her anger. To her, we were sympathizers with terrorists and antisemitic. These are common Zionist refrains directed at people who advocate for Palestine. Regardless, our detractor was distracting, and it genuinely surprised me.

The next week, I was offering an update on the Mennonite conference that left our denomination, in part, over LGBT inclusion. Because there are queer people who remain in that conference, I asked our church to pray for them. A first-time visitor shouted, “Abomination!” and proceeded to implore me to preach the Word of God. I assured him I do and was about to, but he was free to go.

Finally, at a restaurant with a friend wearing a keffiyeh (normal garb for me), someone yelled something derogatory about the Dallas Cowboys. Now, in Philadelphia, that occurrence is hardly new. I agreed with his declaration, and he remarked, “Finally, something we can agree on.” It was fascinating because he didn’t know anything about me, yet he made a racist assumption about me because of my keffiyeh. He asked about my race and ethnicity, wondered if I knew any Jewish people, and when I told him that I was an Arab who mainly organizes with Jewish people in Philadelphia, he was surprised. I didn’t want to engage further, but I recited a familiar line my Jewish friends have taught me: “Never again means never again.”

These instances are largely new for me. I think I have changed and become more vocal about my beliefs. I am proud to be the person I am and to do the work God has given me to do. So I want to acknowledge that I am more activated than I have ever been before. I’ve worked hard to feel free to be my full self in the world. But I am surprised by the negativity this is eliciting in others. And I don’t think it’s just because people disagree with me.

I think people are more activated as well, and how to have public discourse is not modeled for us by our news media or elected officials. Many commentators want to suggest that the problems I’ve experienced are the result of our political polarization. They might argue that we’ve lost the ability to talk to each other. For many, that’s an accusation that burdens both the left and the right. And while the left and liberals have their problems, I think the biggest problem at hand is the man on top: Donald Trump, a man who personifies white rage and angst. He uses it to protect himself, to propel his political career, and to grow his power. Trump has unleashed a rage in the United States and the world that has been simmering for a long time.

And it isn’t just people whom Trump is permitting to be hateful who are activated; I think Trump’s actions and rhetoric are generally making us all very anxious. Normal life is being interrupted by existential crises that are revealing how weak the fabric of our Republic is. And it doesn’t help that for many of us, the headlines and current events are just a tap of a screen away. Social media companies and media conglomerates control our attention and profit from our anxiety.

In the face of this, at least for me, unprecedented intensity and anxiety, I want to offer myself and others possibilities for coping and navigating our challenging and changing world.

First, resist the urge to fight back. This is really hard for me. When the IOF member yelled at me, our team moved her away and tried to de-escalate. We wanted to end her disruption, not make the conflict worse. When the homophobic individual yelled and stormed out of our church, I did respond, but hopefully not in kind. I was tempted, admittedly, to argue with the person hurling anti-Arab racism at me — I turned to my friend, who helped calm me down. It’s easy for me to be activated at this time, but I don’t think fighting back helps me feel better, nor does it change anyone’s mind.

Second, it’s important that we know our boundaries — not just in interpersonal conversations but also in how we consume news and social media. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed by the horrors and atrocities around us. Stay aware of them, sure, but don’t let them overtake you. Put the phone down at some point. Consume other content. Have a cup of tea. Enjoy a walk. Talk to a friend. Set boundaries so that the anxiety of the world doesn’t overtake you.

Third, find like-minded people who share your heart and passion. Not every political dialogue needs to be intense. We can find comfort and safety among our peers. Relying on trustworthy people to hold our angst and big feelings is important. Community is essential in this time. Company and camaraderie are needed in our increasingly isolating world. I’m grateful for the organizing communities I am part of, not just because we are working to build power for a better world, but for the bond we share with one another.

Fourth, don’t stop advocating. Keep telling the truth to power. Expect pushback and use the above suggestions to help you keep going. Don’t let the haters keep you quiet. You have a truth God has given you. Merely holding and understanding that is good enough too. Don’t be deterred.

Finally, trust in God and find your peace in God. I know that not all of us may be people of faith, but for those of us who are, I hope we can find some peace and hope in God’s reliability. Our centeredness is essential to our advocacy. Being a non-anxious presence in the face of the world’s intensity is important because it allows our work to be sustainable. My participation in a worshiping community is part of this, as is the work I’m doing with my spiritual director, my therapist, and my dear colleagues.

Friend, the world is getting more intense, and people are certainly more on edge. Take care of yourself, keep your boundaries, stay close to your loves, and to God.